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Sprocket Holed - September 2006

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

September 27th 2006 02:50
I think it would be really hard not to love this movie. I can’t imagine striking up a conversation with someone who hated this flick. I mean, it is so bright and full of fun. It may not make you laugh out loud but you feel like you are in good company throughout.

Carmen Maura’s central performance as Pepa is astounding. We know this character automatically. You know what it’s like when you’ve been going out with someone for a while and you know what every tiny facial gesture means? You read Pepa straight away and you fall in love. You hope she never plays poker because she wouldn’t stand a chance.

Pepa is an actress who has been living with her co-star, Ivan. He is a shit-heel of the highest order. We meet him walking down the road making silken promises of eternal devotion to strangers on the street. Pepa wakes up to find herself dumped by answer machine. It doesn’t help that she has just found out she is pregnant.

(And as a sidebar, when did we as humans stoop to a level whereby we ended relationships by post it notes, e-mails or the telephone? Anyone currently reading this who takes this as personal criticism should perhaps refer to Carly Simon’s “You’re so Vain”. Believe me, you are not alone. Meanwhile, I refuse to get a mobile phone on the basis that I will never place myself in a position where I can be forced to endure the indignity of being dumped by SMS.)

Pepa is devastated by this turn of events. She barely notices as she accidentally sets her bed on fire. It is, however, a great metaphor. From there on, the film’s plot branches out into a myriad of complications you probably only see in Billy Wilder movies. Here, you just ratchet the volume up a notch thanks to an over-heated Latino sensibility.

Pepa’s friend Candella is on the run from the police because she has been dating a Shiite terrorist. Pepa approaches a lawyer on her behalf but she turns out to be the woman that Ivan is running away with. Ivan’s ex-wife has just got out of the psychiatric hospital and she figures the only way she’ll forget about him is to kill him. Pepa can’t stand living in the apartment she shared with Ivan so she decides to rent it out – burnt bed and all. Who should come to inspect the property but Ivan’s son Carlos and his girlfriend Marisa. Marisa takes a slug of tomato juice laced with sleeping pills and goes off for a little nap which gives Candella and Carlos the few minutes together it takes for them to fall in love.

Okay. Have you got the picture now? Good.

This film is director Pedro Almodovar working at his absolute best. He takes that Nineteen fifties technicolour Hollywood feel and gets all drunken and delirious. I could rave about the cinematic in-jokes and the spectacular opening credit sequence. I could, if I have not already done so, declare my undying love for Carmen Maura. I could waffle on and on and on.

Just bloody watch the film. Okay?
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Master of the Flying Guillotine

September 27th 2006 02:47
The box tells us that “Master of the Flying Guillotine” is cited as Tarantino’s favourite Kung Fu film. Well, “cited” is an awkward word to hang your major selling point off of especially when Quentin is the kind of guy who’ll rattle off a list of thirty seven obscure films each of which is his favourite. So, dear friends, is there anything about this film that makes it special. What is there about this film that drags it above the morass of the grindhouse?

After all, this is a sequel to “One Armed Boxer” which was a reworking of “One Armed Swordsman”. You get the picture? How much new blood can you expect to get from this particular stone?

The first thing that happens when you throw the disc into your machine is a notice of information that they deliberately ignored on the cover. Someone apparently used all the 35mm prints of this film as toilet paper and the image quality is far from pristine. It is, however, much better than your normal third generation video-to-DVD transfers that you come to expect of obscure martial arts movies of this vintage. It is certainly watchable.

Although the martial arts sections are first rate, you kind of take that for granted. Lots of long shot – we’re not faking this – action. Fight choreographer Ka Wing Lau went on to work on “Once Upon A Time in China” so, if you are only here for the punch ups, you have nothing to complain about.

This is a kind of “tournament” film (it is credited as the first). What this means is it is a bit like watching a game of “Streetfighter”, particularly when many of the participants are ethnic cliches gifted with the kinds of powers no amount of training or meditation are going to grant you. This film boasts a boot polished actor playing an Indian yoga master who can stretch his arms to about triple their regular length. The Thai fighter is portrayed as a bare foot savage while the Japanese fighter demands the heroine return to Japan with him so he can teach her his secret kung fu. We are left in no doubt as to what this will involve.

Boo, hiss, you may say. Don’t worry about it. It is kind of expected of you. Things are not looking particularly good on the storyline front. Having said that, the storyline is clean and well drawn. It doesn’t suffer from the genre’s usual vices of glaring gaps in logic or dialogue that comes in huge chunks of exposition. It moves from go to whoa with a ruthless efficiency and it is not an unenjoyable ride.

Jimmy Wang Yu is one reason to jump aboard this band wagon. He has star charisma. His direction is confident and brisk.

The main villain, a blind psychopath who wields the flying guillotine of the title, is an interesting foil. One is almost convinced that such a ridiculous device could, in fact, be the dire threat it is promoted as. Almost. I mean, there are certain laws of physics that… I’m sorry. I almost failed to suspend my disbelief there!

The most amazing thing about this film is its soundtrack. It is so far ahead of its time that it is hard to believe it comes from a 1974 film. For connoisseurs of this kind of thing, I rank it along side Goblin’s soundtracks for “Deep Red” and “Suspiria”, Lalo Schifrin’s “Enter the Dragon” and John Carpenter’s “Halloween”. Even in the depths of it’s murky mix, it is that good.

Straight up, Kung Fu fans will love this. Film buffs will find it not without interest. Casual viewers should probably avoid it. Just because Tarantino borrowed little bits here and there for Kill Bill is no reason to knock yourself out getting hold of the disc.

If that is your only motivation, try “Lady Snowblood” and “The Bride With White Hair”. He ripped off much more off of those films. If you then find yourself converted to the cause of martial arts mayhem, this could be your next stop.
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Crossroads

September 27th 2006 02:45
“Crossroads” is one weird arsed movie; a total one of a kind. Just from that little description, you probably already know that I’m predisposed to liking it. When I tell you Walter Hill directed it, you’ll think it’s a slam dunk.

Well, yeah. I do like it. That doesn’t mean it is completely free of cringe free moments. The fact that it stars Karate Kid Ralph Macchio is not a point in its favour. I mean to say, it is hard to like a guy called Ralph. Ralph is the kind of name that should have you running to the deed poll office. And the Macchio kid? He’s got the screen presence of a mouth ulcer. You always know he’s there but you wish he’d go away.

Director Hill has a thing about playing with mythology in a vaguely rock and roll context. “The Warriors” has a plot ripped straight off of the Greeks (Xenophon’s Anabasis). “Streets of Fire” may have look like a nineteen fifties rock and roll movie but you couldn’t watch it without catching some kind of vibe of Helen of Troy or Ulysses. This second of Hill’s rock and roll fables bombed mysteriously. It practically invented that cut on the beat editing style beloved my music clip directors but it just vanished.

There is usually a yawning gap in most Walter Hill retrospectives. What happened between “48 Hours” and “Extreme Prejudice”? Here is your answer. This film takes a central conceit and runs with it. Blues Guitar legend Robert Johnson claimed he went down to the Crossroads at Midnight to learn how to play from the devil. The price for these lessons is his immortal soul.

The film takes this as gospel truth. It goes on to tell us that Johnson sent his pal Willie Brown down there on a similar quest. Brown is now locked up in a maximum security retirement home.

Music student Eugene has tracked him down because he wants to learn one of Johnson’s unrecorded songs. As Eugene is played by the tremendous Ralph Macchio (that was sarcasm), you know he is going to be an up himself little shit. Brown convinces Eugene to spring him and they both head down to Mississippi where Eugene gets a lesson about what the Blues is really all about and becomes a better person for it. (All together now; Aaaaahhhhhhh!)

Yeah, I know. Sounds pretty bad. There were moments when I felt the urge to leave the room. Still, Joe Seneca is great as Willie Brown. Jami Gertz is great as Francis, the runaway they meet along the way. Walter Hill has a history of including female characters far tougher than his heroes. It kind of puts his macho bullshit into perspective and I believe he knows it. (He was one of the producers on Alien after all.)

There is a final showdown with Scratch (the Devil) that echoes both “The Devil and Daniel Webster” and that old country song about when the Devil comes down to Georgia. Here, a post modern assembling of pop culture references is used to create myth rather than deconstruct it. If that sounds too heavy then forget the egg head shit and just accept that this sequence is fun.

The one thing that will draw your interest back to the screen is Ry Cooder’s music. Macchio does a pretty good job of miming but Cooder’s doing all the real work.

Okay, so it’s not a great film but it’s better than a kick up the arse. I was watching it just yesterday and it actually succeeded in dragging my son and his mate off of the play station. Getting those guys top lay down their controllers takes some effort, believe me.
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Bang-Rajan

September 27th 2006 02:43
Do you like watching a film full of blood drenched battles on a truly epic scale? How about if one side is portrayed as being evil beyond human understanding whilst the good guys are simple village folk? I don’t know about you but, whilst this is acceptable in a fantasy genre film, I find it a little disconcerting in an historical drama.

It is 1765 and the Burmese are invading Siam (now Thailand). Superior in numbers and munitions, the Burmese swoop down to rape, murder and enslave. Let me tell you how evil the Burmese are. When a lone officer comments on the genocidal practices of his colleagues, his weakness is declared treasonous. Yeah, you wouldn’t want to meet the Burmese in a dark alley – particularly in a Thai film


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Dial M For Murder

September 27th 2006 02:41
That nice Grace Kelly isn’t quite as sweet as she looks. She’s in love with Robert Cummings even though she’s married to Ray Milland. But who could blame her? Milland plays the kind of character who puts the scum back into the bag. We are told that he used to play Tennis but just a glance tells you that Wimbledon must have had far lower standards in the days of yore.

Even though Grace is in love with another, she has stood by her man. More fool her, because Ray wants to murder her for money. That’s it. There’s your story. Most of it happens in the one room and that reveals the films origins on the stage. It could have been as dull as dishwater if it wasn’t for the fact that Alfred Hitchcock is the director of “Dial M for Murder” and he isn’t going to waste a single frame in a quest to rack up the tension another notch


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Weatherwoman

September 27th 2006 02:38
It borders on the pornographic. It is lewd. It is bad. It is mad. It is dangerous to know.

What is there not too love


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A film by Rob Zombie

September 23rd 2006 03:14
The notion of Rock Star turned actor is seldom one that ends in rejoicing. Madonna is frequently pointed out as an example of this. She is, however, very good in “Desperately Seeking Susan” and Abel Ferrara’s “Dangerous Game”. The latter film isn’t the world’s easiest watch so a good performance there just added to the audience’s pain. I also take a perverse delight in her performance in “Who’s That Girl” based entirely on the fact that I used to hang out with a woman who was exactly that character. I am a sentimental fool.

Before you think I’m rushing to defend Madonna, may I just make this list; “Evita”, “Swept Away”, “Shanghai Surprise” and “Body of Evidence.” Crimes against cinema, one all. Certainly reason for banishment from the silver screen at best. Some have used these films as a cornerstone for their case for the restoration of the death penalty. Whilst I am no fan of Capital Punishment, their arguments have at least demanded I consider my position


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Dead Presidents

September 23rd 2006 03:12
Awesome.

This film is just plain awesome. I could pile on the superlatives but awesome will cover it


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Horror of Dracular

September 23rd 2006 03:10
Hammer Films were a big deal in their time. They pushed boundaries that the self censoring Hollywood had cocooned itself in. Here, for the very first time, was blood, sex and horror alive in technicolour with some half decent production values. They also had Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, superior actors capable of playing the good with a hint of cruelty and the bad with a touch of compassion.

However, like many things that shocked in their day, age has somewhat wearied them. The many Dracula and Frankenstien sequels that the company threw out in job lot followed the laws of diminishing returns straight towards the bargain bin


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My Private Idaho

September 23rd 2006 03:08
This film was initially given one of the most appalling video to DVD transfers I have ever seen. The picture shook and the sound was awful. Still, I love this film so I cherished my crappy copy. Fortunately, the folk at Village Roadshow have finally seen fit to release the two disc widescreen edition I’ve always wanted to see.

I regard “My Private Idaho” as one of the great achievements of modern American independent cinema; a film that can stand up beside its European arthouse cousins and not be made to look ridiculous in the process. This film looks, at first view, loose and chaotic but this hides a real tightness in director Gus Van Sant’s writing


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An Inconvenient Truth

September 20th 2006 07:03
This is a site dedicated to reviewing film. My opinions have been known to be extreme; my love for obscure reprehensible films baffling and my rambling style down right annoying. Today, I’m going to do something odd even by my own quirky standards. I’m going to lay a lot of praise at the feet of a film that I find stylistically dreadful. It has been said that Britain and America are two nations divided by a common language. Something like that is going on here for me.

“An Inconvenient Truth” is way too wholesome for its own good. Even the word “Ass” is beeped out. At its worst it is like watching an episode of Oprah. A really bad episode of Oprah. It is still, quite possibly, one of the most important films ever made. Despite its failings, one watches it and hopes it will mark a turning point in human history. It just might


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La Belle et la Bête

September 19th 2006 00:58
Once upon a time in a land not to far from the one I live in now, there was a television station named Channel Seven. In a time before colour (which arrived surprisingly late for an allegedly civilised country), they began to run a series of movies under the banner of “Creature Features”. It started promisingly enough. A women decked out in Vampira/Elvira clobber introduced a double bill of Universal’s Frankenstien” and “Dracula”.

If all this excitement wasn’t enough for my pre-pubescent mind, this woman demanded that we – the viewing public – should leave our windows open so she could fly in and give us a little kiss. I lived in hope. She didn’t come. I blamed living in Wollongong. It was a long way to fly but – if she’d made the effort – I would have let her sleep over. Oh, ghoul girl… When will you be mine? I know you were just a cheap way of fulfilling the obligatory Australian content rules but you have warped my fragile little mind


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Sympathy For Mr Vengeance

September 19th 2006 00:55
Firstly, by way of introduction, let me tell you that “Sympathy For Mr Vengeance” is not a film to enjoy. You probably guessed that from the title, didn’t you? Well, take your worst fears and multiply them by ten. This is one long extended howl of a movie. It is human pain and suffering heaped upon human pain and suffering.

And now here comes the difficult part. I have to tell you why should see it. And you should. It is, without doubt, one of the best films I have ever seen. It just isn’t very nice. Contrary to everything I have told you, it is also full of extraordinary touching moments. Despite the violence and horror, this is a very human movie


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Dark Habits

September 19th 2006 00:52
For your attention dear readers: the portrait of a movie as an over-ripe water melon left to the tender mercies of a noon day sun. Something has got to give, my friends. It is only a question of time. Entranced by Fifties melodramas, drunk on technicolour dreaming, Pedro Almodovar is still working towards his own unique style here. There are flashes of the future genius he will become but this is far from his best work.

I’m not saying you won’t have a good old time watching this. Any film where a nun suddenly turns towards a soul in need of saving and asks if she wants to do smack has definitely got my attention. When the nun then rolls up her sleave to show how it’s done, my attention is officially held in place


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King Kong

September 19th 2006 00:49
The original “King Kong” opened itself up to many interpretations. Its dream like tone suggested a quest for the beast (or pure emotional state) in the face of the blandness of the mechanised world. With the Great Depression firmly in place, it could have been seen as a projection of sublimated rage. You could also look at it as a big dumb arsed roller coaster ride.

But modern audiences yawned at its charms. The seventies remake was so terrible that most rational people pretend it never happened. I guess it was ripe for a re-make and who says no to Peter Jackson these days? Well, somebody should. This modern day monster monstrosity opens itself up to one particular interpretation. It is an analogy for the massive swelling occurring atop Jackson’s rather broad shoulders


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Pink Flamingos

September 16th 2006 01:55
Readers of Britain’s Uncut magazine may remember a feature that warned of various things not to do in movies. It would suggest you should never sell insurance and then tell you the terrible fate of any characters who failed to heed that warning. Never get out of Jail. Never drive a bus. Never eat cheesecake. You get the idea. Strangely, there was never a warning concerning eating freshly dropped dog turd scraped off the pavement.

Maybe it seemed too obvious. Maybe it was because it actually worked out quite well for Divine, star of Pink Flamingos


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The Assassin

September 16th 2006 01:53
When I went to see “Kill Bill” Volume One, I was thrilled to see the Shaw Brother’s logo at the start. I was at the Palace in Norton Street and the arty farty people I shared the auditorium with looked at the screen blankly. They were thinking Pulp Fiction and I was thinking Wu Xia. I got my wish and they didn’t. I could have been back in a long lost Saturday Afternoon at the Regent’s Cinema in Wollongong pretending to be eighteen so I could watch “The One Armed Swordsman”. I still don’t know how the fuck I got away with that one since I was still barely learning to have pimples.

A bunch of Shaw Brothers flicks have slunk out on DVD. By modern standards, I guess they are kind of crude. Any of you guys who have grown up in a world where there has always been a Playstation will be bored by everything besides the gory grand finales. Which is a shame. There is a tremendous amount of beauty hidden in the convoluted plotting and frantic dialogue. Sometimes it takes a couple of viewings to see it because you spend the first run through desperately reading subtitles. Sometimes, the dubbed track (when provided) is actually preferable simply because there is too much text to read. It tends to depend on how faithfully the text follows the original. I have seen some Asian films where the dubbed track bears no relation to the original text at all. It seems like someone is making it up as they go along. (See Hong Kong Legends recent release of Mr Vampire where all the mysticism is changed to yuppie property development psycho babble


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Key Largo

September 16th 2006 01:50
Well, this film just makes it look so easy to make a great film. It is all so effortless; put a great cast in a high pressure situation and let a well written script bring everything to the boil. Director John Huston overcomes the obvious limitations that arise from bringing a stage play to the screen. The fact that most of the action is confined to a hotel helps tighten the dramatic screws.

Lets look at the cast. Humphrey Bogart plays Frank, a major back from the war. He’s a disillusioned idealist who thought he had been fighting to rid the world of monsters but back in the States he finds he no longer fits in and evil is still at large. (And you thought that the Vietnam war was the only one to throw up such characters). He goes to visit the family of one of his fallen comrades in the Florida Keys a place that is just about as far as you can go whilst still calling yourself an American


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Confidential Report

September 16th 2006 01:48
I am an Orson Welles fan. I am one of those silly old farts who can groan on about the brilliance of “Citizen Kane” from here until next Christmas. I will tell you that “Touch of Evil” is, in my opinion, even better. Look, I even like the “Magnificent Ambersons” and “The Stranger” is, at the very least, entertaining.

“Confidential Report” is not in that league. It is not even in the same game. Do you know that scene in Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood” where Ed meets Orson in a bar? The joke here is that this film is so bad it makes that scene look like a meeting of equals! Yes, friends, that was an exclamation mark. I don’t use many of them but here it is warranted


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Xu Warriors of the Magic Mountain

September 13th 2006 07:23
So, what do you do when you get a new television? You pull out a kick arse DVD full of bright colours and non stop action. You want to enjoy your purchase. I reached for “Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain”. It is a movie that’s as mad as a sack full of snakes (on or off a plane). It’s special effects date back to pre-history when the world could be threatened by a large red bed sheet. You can tell me that’s a bad thing but I will laugh in your CGI obsessed face. I would rather watch it a thousand times in a row rather than have to endure any of Lucas’s last three Star Wars films again.

Its insane internal logic is best approached through surrender. Nothing you can do will make it make any sense. But with this much energy, it doesn’t need to. It is a big open hearted dream of a movie as surreal as anything cinema can offer. The blood demon is awakened by the blood cult. The old guy catches it with his eyebrows. He tells the young guy to go off and get the purple and green swords. The young guy’s master and his friend’s master get possessed by the blood demon. The woman in the fort tries to heal them but freezes the cave instead. Does any of this make sense


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Geronimo

September 13th 2006 07:20
A lot of people will tell you that the Western, as a genre, is finished. But how come people still keep making great westerns? Some people talk about “Unforgiven” being the Western’s final glorious bow. Some people are full of shit. There hasn’t been a deluge of great westerns since then but there have been a few.

I know mentions of Kevin Costner are enough to induce outbreaks of fear and loathing amongst rational human beings everywhere but that doesn’t mean “Open Range” is not a great movie. I myself read a very favourable review but that didn’t mean I had to believe it. Remember “Waterworld”. Never forget “The Postman”. The names of these stinkers were etched into my brain with all the scarring a veteran might attach to famous battles. I saw an ex-rental copy for $2.95. Oh, how the mighty had fallen, I told myself. A sucker for a Western, I decided to give this baby its day in court despite myself. A good thing I did. It now comes highly recommended by yours truly


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Once upon a time in China

September 12th 2006 01:28

Oh, yeah baby! This is the stuff. Bring it on!

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Bound

September 12th 2006 01:16

This film is one of the great gems of nineties cinema but, the trouble is, I don’t want to tell you too much about it. I can tell you that it pretends to be a lesbian variation on the old “Postman Knocks Twice” theme but it resolves itself in a different way. Set against the backdrop of the Chicago underworld, this modern day Noir will make you glad you have a DVD.

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In Praise of Vampires (Or Not)

September 8th 2006 06:54
So, let me tell you about my dream. No, it’s more like a nightmare but it begins something like this. I have every good reason to believe this is not going to be not just a dream but a good dream. I find myself in a room with Sarah Michelle Geller and she sidles up to me in that perky blonde way she does. Some may try to stop me now because they are sure they know which way this dream is going. For my part, I’m pretty much hoping the dream is heading down that path. You know the old saying; what comes in dreams stays in dreams (or is that holidays to Thredbo – I never can remember.)

Anyway, there she is; all bouncy and wholesome in a kill crazy kind of way. She turns to me and says “Hi, I’m Buffy. Can you tell me about vampires


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Rio Lobo

September 8th 2006 06:52
Howard Hawks was one of the best directors Hollywood ever produced. He jumped from genre to genre and produced a body of work to be envied. “Scarface”, “Rio Bravo”, “The Thing from another World”, “Gentlemen prefer Blondes” and “His Girl Friday”. What more do I need to say?

“Rio Lobo”, his final film, is not the pinnacle of his career. It has some spectacular sequences including a marvellous train heist. The opening credits, featuring nothing except a guitar being played, are masterful. The trouble is, all the action is taken so light heartedly that it fails to convince. This approach had worked well in “Rio Bravo” because, in that film, the humour was surrounded by genuine drama and a sense of danger. In this film, the bad guys look like they need to be propped up until the final reel in case they get beaten too early


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Little Caesar

September 8th 2006 06:49
One of the great things about the advent of DVDs is it has meant many of the classic movies of the past have been restored to their former glories. Just check out the re-issues of Universal’s monster movies. Warner has also done some great work with the re-issue of some of its most famous gangster movies. Not only have they restored the prints to pristine quality, the special features include a program of short films that you might have seen if you’d had gone to the cinema to see the film.

The last time I saw “Little Caesar” was on one of Bill Collin’s all night movie shows that used to run on Channel Nine before some idiot invented infomercials. I had to sneak out of bed in the middle of the night in fear of waking my parents. It was worth the risk. I loved those old Warner Brother’s flicks


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'R Xmas

September 8th 2006 06:48
Abel Ferrara hasn’t made a movie that felt like a good time in years. There was the pilot he did for “Crime Story”; that rocked and you rolled with it. Other than that, Ferrara doesn’t do good times. Driller Killer? Bad Lieutenant? King of New York? Hardly cheerful films. Existential wailing with a side order of gnashing teeth. He has a fan club but we’re a small band and that means the budgets just keep getting smaller. His movies have never ceased to be anything less than interesting. Even the patience testing “New Rose Hotel” is interesting.

“’R Xmas” is low budget New York independent. It runs a side line in humour that is so dark you’ll be forgiven for missing it. Lillo Brancato Jr and Drea De Matteo (you know her from the Sopranos) play a husband and wife with a beautiful daughter and an affluent lifestyle. That lifestyle is, however, financed through the sale of heroin


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Exterminating Angel

September 6th 2006 00:02

“Exterminating Angel” is one of those films that I was really beginning to believe I had only imagined I’d seen. In my mind, it was turning into something like the mystery film they’re looking for in John Carpenter’s “Cigarette Burns”. I saw it once when I was in my teens and then it vanished. If I talked to friends about it, they hadn’t seen it. I could see mentions in the film books and Alex Cox named his production company after it. But these were ghosts of the film. There appeared to be no chance of a second peek.

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The Parallex View

September 5th 2006 23:59
The nineteen seventies: bad suits and conspiracy theories. Crusading alternative journalists, the murder of the best and brightest and Nixon doing Watergate. The team behind “The Parallax View” must have thought this damn thing wrote itself. As with many things that are this timely, time has not been kind.

For a start, Alan J Pakula’s decision to shoot much of the action in the widest of long shots may have captured a feeling of the paranoia of the times but it strips the action of any excitement. Warren Beatty’s crusading journalist is also a creation of his time. Now we just see a shallow narcissist unaware of the needs of those around him. He doesn’t really fight for the story so much as he fights for the by-line


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Ninja in the Dragon's Den

September 5th 2006 23:52
I’m not going to try and convince you that this is a great film. Complete with a really dodgy disco inspired theme song, it is the kind of film that just fell off the Hong Kong production line in the early nineteen eighties by the truck load. The blurb makes some inflated claims about epic proportions and martial arts showcases. It talks about how the opposing fighting styles of the Japanese and Chinese are bought together. Well, about three quarters of these films are about bringing together opposing fighting styles – most of which I can’t distinguish from each other and I’ve watched tons of these things. Here, Japanese fighting style seems to involve dressing up in a black ninja suit and running in short quick steps. Oh, and they use shurikans.

I’m not going to knock this flick either. It does what it sets out to do and it does it with style. If you like this kind of thing, you’re not going hit the eject button. If, however, you’ve only seen “Hero” or “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”, this may not be the best place to begin investigating the genre more deeply. You might want to try something like “Once upon a Time in China” instead. “Ninja in the Dragon’s Den” is barely plotted and what little plot is there makes no sense at all


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Naked Killer

September 1st 2006 02:22
Now, this is going to be difficult. I have to convince you that a film about rival lesbian assassins killing and castrating men has redeemable features. Come to think of it, for a whole lot of people out there, I have just sold the picture without saying another word. Others will need convincing, especially when I tell you that the film is directed by a man named Clarence Fok Yei Leung.

Whilst that does sound like a pretty bad joke just waiting to happen, he seems to prefer to go under the name Clarence Ford and has bought you such cinematic wonders as “Dragon From Russia” and “The Iceman Cometh”. (The latter bears no resemblance to Eugene O’Neils play unless I missed the scene where the flophouse was visited by swordsmen from ancient China.). I’ll be straight with you. Virtually every frame of “Naked Killer” is crammed with impossibly gorgeous women doing things that make you worry about going blind if you keep watching


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Empire of the Wolves

September 1st 2006 02:20
There is something about a French Film. You can spot them a mile way, even with the sound down or the dialogue dubbed. Perhaps it the earnestness they employ when they draw nicotine into their lungs. They smoke like they mean it. They smoke like they need a smoke.

If you haven’t heard of “Empire of the Wolves”, it won’t surprise me. In Australia, it seems to have had such a half hearted release that you’d think the people at Sony pictures had something to be embarrassed about. They shouldn’t feel embarrassed. They should be happy they have a film like this in their catalogue. They should find a way to promote films like this. It isn’t that hard when you have quality product


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