Kelly WandMasters of Horror
October 29th 2006 04:03
What constitutes a Master of Horror? Producer Mick Garris thinks he knows. Hes sprung a deal with a television station to produce a series of hour long almost features directed by a proclaimed genre master. Lets see how the first six stack up.
CIGARETTE BURNS
Well, if anyone here rates a Master of Horror badge, John Carpenter does. He directed Halloween, The Fog, Prince of Darkness, The Thing and Vampires. He knows what scares you and he does a pretty good job here. Once upon a time, a movie was made called Le Fin Absolue Du Monde. It drove the audience of its only showing into a kill crazed frenzy.
Programmer Kirby Sweetman is given the job of tracking down the only remaining print of the film by a creepy private collector (played by the delightfully creepy Udo Kier). As Sweetman gets closer to the film, he begins to hallucinate but these brutal hallucinations may be filtering into reality.
It is fairly familiar ground for Carpenter, being reminiscent of In the Mouth of Madness and David Cronenbergs Videodrome. Thats a film that a lot of people liked but, for me, it was spoiled by Sam Neill who seemed determined to shove his tongue into his cheek and wander through the movie with a sign around his neck saying Im slumming it.
It is nice to see a similar theme taken seriously by the cast. Carpenter has picked up the gauntlet and made his first straight scary film in a while and it is a very welcome return. Look, Vampires had its scares but it was really just ninety minutes of James Wood kicking serious butt and that was fantastic but it wasnt a horror film. These days, you cant make a real horror film with James Wood in it because he is scarier than any monster could ever hope to be. Even in Videodrome he looked like he was having a good old time pulling guns out of the hole in his belly.
If all the episodes in the series are half as good as Cigarette Burns, I think were looking at a classic series in the making.
DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE
Director Stuart Gordon is probably most famous for the blackly comic Re-Animator. He has also made the far darker but far less interesting Castle Freak and Dagon. If one is to be totally honest, he is not so much a master of horror as a studied professor. Throughout his career, he has made it a central mission of bringing the work of H P Lovecraft to the screen and this episode is no exception.
A physics student moves into a particularly seedy boarding house. He is surprised to find that the peculiar geometry of his room echoes his work into the possible bridging of dimensions. Fairly soon, he is having dreams of witches and talking rodents and they have plans involving the sacrifice of the child next door.
Fans of Lovecraft will be on happily familiar territory whilst the faithless may feel this is a garden path we have been led down in one too many crappy movies already. This film isnt crap. It has some genuine scary moments, good acting and a deep sense of impending doom. It is a pity we have been here or somewhere like here - before.
INCIDENT ON AND OFF A MOUNTAIN ROAD
Don Coscarellis claims to fame include the Phantasm series of films and Bubba Ho-Tep. Is he a master of horror? His films seem to come from somewhere else altogether. In a Kung Fu movie hed be one of those weird Masters who lives alone up in the mountains and says deep and profound weird shit. This episode is perhaps the closest he has come to a straight horror film.
Based on a story by the amazing Joe R Lansdale, Incident tells the story of a defenceless young woman stalked by a deformed serial killer. Did I say helpless? When she starts fashioning booby traps, you know this is turning down a less travelled path. And just as well too. Despite the fact that the film looked stylishly shot, I was beginning to stifle a yawn or two as I smelt clich in the air. Ultimately, this film turned out to be another surprise from Coscarelli. I was going to say delightful surprise but this film is a little too gory to be delightful.
CHOCOLATE
Director Mick Garris has made a few Stephen King adaptations mostly for television. The fact that he directed the remake of The Shining has never really enamoured him film critics. I mean to say, it would be a bit like me picking up a copy of the Bible and saying I could do a better job than God did.
Of course, he is the dude who got this series up and running. I suppose at a stretch that might qualify him to be a teaboy of terror.
Having said that, Chocolate is an amazing psychological horror story. It is dark in ways that none of his previous work has hinted at. The fact that this is based on a story he wrote would seem to suggest he should avoid adaptations at all cost. This guy could turn out to be quite a find.
A lonely food technician is surprised to find he is experiencing the sensation of someone else eating chocolate. Soon, he is having flashes where he seeing through the eyes of someone else; a beautiful woman. Furthermore, he starts feeling what she feels. When she kills her unfaithful lover, he decides he must find her.
DEER WOMAN
John Landis may have made the highly successful An American Werewolf in London and the rather less successful Innocent Blood but, beyond that, his horror resume thins out dramatically. Michael Jacksons Thriller video. Do me a favour, John.
Deer Woman plays straight to Landis strength and plays them well. Just as with Werewolf this is a scary movie with laughs as opposed to a comedy with a half hearted stab at chills. There is a fantastic sequence where a detective tries to piece together a series of ridiculous clues into a feasible crime scenario. His increasingly absurd solutions are by themselves justification for this series.
What are the clues? A man is seen with a woman. He is later found ground into the cabin of his truck from the groin up. There are hoof prints. Okay, youve seen the title of the film so you know where this is heading. Leading man, Brian Benben is fantastic. The script, by Landis son Max, is a treat. The direction is superb. A great way to spend a hour of your time and probably the first film in this series that will stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
A good horror film will always stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
SICK GIRL
But here is the real treat of the series, the big surprise. Who the hell is Lucky McKee? He directed a film called May. Youd think that would merely make him an apprentice of horror rather than a master but hes shown the old farts a thing or two.
Its a kind of lesbian romantic comedy with a large bug as guest star. I dont want to tell you anything else about it because it is just so fucking brilliant. You should see it yourself. It is, by far, the best film in this six pack.
MASTERS OF HORROR VOLUME 1
So what is the verdict? If it is one eighth as good as Volume 1, I cant wait for volume 2.
CIGARETTE BURNS
Well, if anyone here rates a Master of Horror badge, John Carpenter does. He directed Halloween, The Fog, Prince of Darkness, The Thing and Vampires. He knows what scares you and he does a pretty good job here. Once upon a time, a movie was made called Le Fin Absolue Du Monde. It drove the audience of its only showing into a kill crazed frenzy.
Programmer Kirby Sweetman is given the job of tracking down the only remaining print of the film by a creepy private collector (played by the delightfully creepy Udo Kier). As Sweetman gets closer to the film, he begins to hallucinate but these brutal hallucinations may be filtering into reality.
It is fairly familiar ground for Carpenter, being reminiscent of In the Mouth of Madness and David Cronenbergs Videodrome. Thats a film that a lot of people liked but, for me, it was spoiled by Sam Neill who seemed determined to shove his tongue into his cheek and wander through the movie with a sign around his neck saying Im slumming it.
It is nice to see a similar theme taken seriously by the cast. Carpenter has picked up the gauntlet and made his first straight scary film in a while and it is a very welcome return. Look, Vampires had its scares but it was really just ninety minutes of James Wood kicking serious butt and that was fantastic but it wasnt a horror film. These days, you cant make a real horror film with James Wood in it because he is scarier than any monster could ever hope to be. Even in Videodrome he looked like he was having a good old time pulling guns out of the hole in his belly.
If all the episodes in the series are half as good as Cigarette Burns, I think were looking at a classic series in the making.
DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE
Director Stuart Gordon is probably most famous for the blackly comic Re-Animator. He has also made the far darker but far less interesting Castle Freak and Dagon. If one is to be totally honest, he is not so much a master of horror as a studied professor. Throughout his career, he has made it a central mission of bringing the work of H P Lovecraft to the screen and this episode is no exception.
A physics student moves into a particularly seedy boarding house. He is surprised to find that the peculiar geometry of his room echoes his work into the possible bridging of dimensions. Fairly soon, he is having dreams of witches and talking rodents and they have plans involving the sacrifice of the child next door.
Fans of Lovecraft will be on happily familiar territory whilst the faithless may feel this is a garden path we have been led down in one too many crappy movies already. This film isnt crap. It has some genuine scary moments, good acting and a deep sense of impending doom. It is a pity we have been here or somewhere like here - before.
INCIDENT ON AND OFF A MOUNTAIN ROAD
Don Coscarellis claims to fame include the Phantasm series of films and Bubba Ho-Tep. Is he a master of horror? His films seem to come from somewhere else altogether. In a Kung Fu movie hed be one of those weird Masters who lives alone up in the mountains and says deep and profound weird shit. This episode is perhaps the closest he has come to a straight horror film.
Based on a story by the amazing Joe R Lansdale, Incident tells the story of a defenceless young woman stalked by a deformed serial killer. Did I say helpless? When she starts fashioning booby traps, you know this is turning down a less travelled path. And just as well too. Despite the fact that the film looked stylishly shot, I was beginning to stifle a yawn or two as I smelt clich in the air. Ultimately, this film turned out to be another surprise from Coscarelli. I was going to say delightful surprise but this film is a little too gory to be delightful.
CHOCOLATE
Director Mick Garris has made a few Stephen King adaptations mostly for television. The fact that he directed the remake of The Shining has never really enamoured him film critics. I mean to say, it would be a bit like me picking up a copy of the Bible and saying I could do a better job than God did.
Of course, he is the dude who got this series up and running. I suppose at a stretch that might qualify him to be a teaboy of terror.
Having said that, Chocolate is an amazing psychological horror story. It is dark in ways that none of his previous work has hinted at. The fact that this is based on a story he wrote would seem to suggest he should avoid adaptations at all cost. This guy could turn out to be quite a find.
A lonely food technician is surprised to find he is experiencing the sensation of someone else eating chocolate. Soon, he is having flashes where he seeing through the eyes of someone else; a beautiful woman. Furthermore, he starts feeling what she feels. When she kills her unfaithful lover, he decides he must find her.
DEER WOMAN
John Landis may have made the highly successful An American Werewolf in London and the rather less successful Innocent Blood but, beyond that, his horror resume thins out dramatically. Michael Jacksons Thriller video. Do me a favour, John.
Deer Woman plays straight to Landis strength and plays them well. Just as with Werewolf this is a scary movie with laughs as opposed to a comedy with a half hearted stab at chills. There is a fantastic sequence where a detective tries to piece together a series of ridiculous clues into a feasible crime scenario. His increasingly absurd solutions are by themselves justification for this series.
What are the clues? A man is seen with a woman. He is later found ground into the cabin of his truck from the groin up. There are hoof prints. Okay, youve seen the title of the film so you know where this is heading. Leading man, Brian Benben is fantastic. The script, by Landis son Max, is a treat. The direction is superb. A great way to spend a hour of your time and probably the first film in this series that will stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
A good horror film will always stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
SICK GIRL
But here is the real treat of the series, the big surprise. Who the hell is Lucky McKee? He directed a film called May. Youd think that would merely make him an apprentice of horror rather than a master but hes shown the old farts a thing or two.
Its a kind of lesbian romantic comedy with a large bug as guest star. I dont want to tell you anything else about it because it is just so fucking brilliant. You should see it yourself. It is, by far, the best film in this six pack.
MASTERS OF HORROR VOLUME 1
So what is the verdict? If it is one eighth as good as Volume 1, I cant wait for volume 2.
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