Kelly WandMan Thing
October 14th 2006 03:47
Almost.
Almost a good horror movie. I mean, there was so much working against it. Man Thing. It is such a stupid title. Back in the nineteen seventies, this was a great comic book but comic books are notoriously difficult to transform into film. Think of the atrocities committed in the name of the two Swamp Thing movies.
I know, it’s weird and confusing to the casual observer. Marvel Comics had Manny and DC had Swampy. I can’t tell you who came first and I doubt that it matters. They probably both ripped off someone else anyway. From then on in, there clearly was a whole lot of looking over each other’s shoulders going on.
It’s just like today when the two big animation studios maintain that nasty habit of making similarly themed movies. I can’t condone this petty theft but, at the time, these were among the few comic book titles that didn’t involve men in tights.
I kept collecting them both even as they succumbed to the shame of going bi-monthly. Those men in tights were taking over the world and Marvel found they could sell any old rubbish with an X in the title. If only Marvel had had the sense to call Man Thing a swamp mutant… but such things were never meant to be.
DC Comics had Alan Moore and Swamp Thing oozed out to change the face of modern comics. Poor Man Thing headed off into the nether region of guest appearances in super hero comics. Seeing his cousin’s success, Marvel clearly had a quick delve into its stock of shelved characters and had him bought back for another shot at fame.
This movie has the good sense to dump a lot of the comic’s old baggage because it just wouldn’t have worked. There was a little too much waffle about the Nexus of realities in those old mags and writer Steve Gerber had some suspiciously hippy stuff going on in his scripts.
This movie has also borrowed a lot from the improved Swamp Thing but that is not a bad thing. If the makers of the Swamp Thing movies had borrowed a little bit more from the Swamp Thing comics than maybe they wouldn’t have been quite as diabolical as they ended up being.
Here is what the film is about. An oil company sets up in the swamp. The swamp is dying through exploitation and pollution. The native population feels ripped off and betrayed. People start dying. Lots of people. There is something in the swamp. The natives speak of a Guardian Spirit. A new sheriff arrives in town to replace the old one who has vanished in the muck and fetid ooze. It’s a story line that has great promise and, no, I’m not being ironic.
Going back to old school ideas, the film makers keep the monster hidden for most of the film. It is a good idea particularly when coupled with some excellent special effects work of the monster’s handy work. (Or should that be branch work?). Someone at least watched Jaws enough times to know the ground rules for this genre.
The biggest problem with “Man Thing” is its overly complicated plotting. It can’t decide what kind of film it wants to be. Then, to make matters worse, it just has to rub every tiny detail into your face. The very worst thing a film can do is treat an audience like they are stupid. This movie raps you over the knuckles every few minutes to remind you who the bad guys are. It then preaches for a little while before going back to the action. By the time it gets a little momentum going, it’s time to have your knuckles rapped again and then the yawning starts.
Listen! We all worked it out, alright. The Indians are Good. Evil polluting companies are bad. People who work for these companies are vile, moronic and racist. Okay. That may be true and, for the sake of the film we’ll say it is. However, I’ll tell you something. Such two dimensional characterisation gets really old, really quickly.
And another thing. If about twenty of thirty people have gone missing in a swamp with the occasional body turning up horribly mutilated, the Chief Executive Officer of the evil company does not go walk about in the swamp in the middle of the night. Even if he is played by Jack Thompson. You don’t get to be the boss of evil companies if you are that idiotic.
By making the Indians good and the company bad, this film opens itself up to other problems. If Man Thing is the avenging spirit of the swamp, do we make him a force for good or a force for ill? In this film no decision is reached so he ultimately is made redundant. He becomes only a side issue in the central conflict and, story wise, the film would have been far better without him. That is no way to treat your titular character.
Finally, the thing that really pisses me off about this movie is this; even a casual reader of the comic will tell you that whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man Thing. It even says it on the DVD cover for Christ’s sake. So why didn’t anything burn at the touch of the Man Thing? You had a whole ninety six minute movie and nothing burned at the touch of the Man Thing. Did the film makers just forget or something? Or did nothing feel fear? I know I didn’t.
Listen. I’ll tell you how it is supposed to go. You have an oil company. Man Thing picks up the evil oil company CEO. What ever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man Thing. CEO combusts taking oil company with him. There’s your ending you moronic Hollywood hacks! Didn’t anyone tell you that comic book monster stories need to end with a hefty dose of poetic justice? Some times it makes no sense to run from the cliché!
Almost a good horror movie. I mean, there was so much working against it. Man Thing. It is such a stupid title. Back in the nineteen seventies, this was a great comic book but comic books are notoriously difficult to transform into film. Think of the atrocities committed in the name of the two Swamp Thing movies.
I know, it’s weird and confusing to the casual observer. Marvel Comics had Manny and DC had Swampy. I can’t tell you who came first and I doubt that it matters. They probably both ripped off someone else anyway. From then on in, there clearly was a whole lot of looking over each other’s shoulders going on.
It’s just like today when the two big animation studios maintain that nasty habit of making similarly themed movies. I can’t condone this petty theft but, at the time, these were among the few comic book titles that didn’t involve men in tights.
I kept collecting them both even as they succumbed to the shame of going bi-monthly. Those men in tights were taking over the world and Marvel found they could sell any old rubbish with an X in the title. If only Marvel had had the sense to call Man Thing a swamp mutant… but such things were never meant to be.
DC Comics had Alan Moore and Swamp Thing oozed out to change the face of modern comics. Poor Man Thing headed off into the nether region of guest appearances in super hero comics. Seeing his cousin’s success, Marvel clearly had a quick delve into its stock of shelved characters and had him bought back for another shot at fame.
This movie has the good sense to dump a lot of the comic’s old baggage because it just wouldn’t have worked. There was a little too much waffle about the Nexus of realities in those old mags and writer Steve Gerber had some suspiciously hippy stuff going on in his scripts.
This movie has also borrowed a lot from the improved Swamp Thing but that is not a bad thing. If the makers of the Swamp Thing movies had borrowed a little bit more from the Swamp Thing comics than maybe they wouldn’t have been quite as diabolical as they ended up being.
Here is what the film is about. An oil company sets up in the swamp. The swamp is dying through exploitation and pollution. The native population feels ripped off and betrayed. People start dying. Lots of people. There is something in the swamp. The natives speak of a Guardian Spirit. A new sheriff arrives in town to replace the old one who has vanished in the muck and fetid ooze. It’s a story line that has great promise and, no, I’m not being ironic.
Going back to old school ideas, the film makers keep the monster hidden for most of the film. It is a good idea particularly when coupled with some excellent special effects work of the monster’s handy work. (Or should that be branch work?). Someone at least watched Jaws enough times to know the ground rules for this genre.
The biggest problem with “Man Thing” is its overly complicated plotting. It can’t decide what kind of film it wants to be. Then, to make matters worse, it just has to rub every tiny detail into your face. The very worst thing a film can do is treat an audience like they are stupid. This movie raps you over the knuckles every few minutes to remind you who the bad guys are. It then preaches for a little while before going back to the action. By the time it gets a little momentum going, it’s time to have your knuckles rapped again and then the yawning starts.
Listen! We all worked it out, alright. The Indians are Good. Evil polluting companies are bad. People who work for these companies are vile, moronic and racist. Okay. That may be true and, for the sake of the film we’ll say it is. However, I’ll tell you something. Such two dimensional characterisation gets really old, really quickly.
And another thing. If about twenty of thirty people have gone missing in a swamp with the occasional body turning up horribly mutilated, the Chief Executive Officer of the evil company does not go walk about in the swamp in the middle of the night. Even if he is played by Jack Thompson. You don’t get to be the boss of evil companies if you are that idiotic.
By making the Indians good and the company bad, this film opens itself up to other problems. If Man Thing is the avenging spirit of the swamp, do we make him a force for good or a force for ill? In this film no decision is reached so he ultimately is made redundant. He becomes only a side issue in the central conflict and, story wise, the film would have been far better without him. That is no way to treat your titular character.
Finally, the thing that really pisses me off about this movie is this; even a casual reader of the comic will tell you that whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man Thing. It even says it on the DVD cover for Christ’s sake. So why didn’t anything burn at the touch of the Man Thing? You had a whole ninety six minute movie and nothing burned at the touch of the Man Thing. Did the film makers just forget or something? Or did nothing feel fear? I know I didn’t.
Listen. I’ll tell you how it is supposed to go. You have an oil company. Man Thing picks up the evil oil company CEO. What ever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man Thing. CEO combusts taking oil company with him. There’s your ending you moronic Hollywood hacks! Didn’t anyone tell you that comic book monster stories need to end with a hefty dose of poetic justice? Some times it makes no sense to run from the cliché!
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