Kelly WandMasters of Horror
October 29th 2006 04:03
What constitutes a Master of Horror? Producer Mick Garris thinks he knows. He’s sprung a deal with a television station to produce a series of hour long almost features directed by a proclaimed genre master. Let’s see how the first six stack up.
CIGARETTE BURNS
Well, if anyone here rates a Master of Horror badge, John Carpenter does. He directed “Halloween”, “The Fog”, “Prince of Darkness”, “The Thing” and “Vampires”. He knows what scares you and he does a pretty good job here. Once upon a time, a movie was made called “Le Fin Absolue Du Monde”. It drove the audience of its only showing into a kill crazed frenzy.
Programmer Kirby Sweetman is given the job of tracking down the only remaining print of the film by a creepy private collector (played by the delightfully creepy Udo Kier). As Sweetman gets closer to the film, he begins to hallucinate but these brutal hallucinations may be filtering into reality.
It is fairly familiar ground for Carpenter, being reminiscent of “In the Mouth of Madness” and David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome”. That’s a film that a lot of people liked but, for me, it was spoiled by Sam Neill who seemed determined to shove his tongue into his cheek and wander through the movie with a sign around his neck saying “I’m slumming it”.
It is nice to see a similar theme taken seriously by the cast. Carpenter has picked up the gauntlet and made his first straight scary film in a while and it is a very welcome return. Look, “Vampires” had its scares but it was really just ninety minutes of James Wood kicking serious butt and that was fantastic but it wasn’t a horror film. These days, you can’t make a real horror film with James Wood in it because he is scarier than any monster could ever hope to be. Even in “Videodrome” he looked like he was having a good old time pulling guns out of the hole in his belly.
If all the episodes in the series are half as good as “Cigarette Burns”, I think we’re looking at a classic series in the making.
DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE
Director Stuart Gordon is probably most famous for the blackly comic Re-Animator. He has also made the far darker but far less interesting “Castle Freak” and “Dagon”. If one is to be totally honest, he is not so much a master of horror as a studied professor. Throughout his career, he has made it a central mission of bringing the work of H P Lovecraft to the screen and this episode is no exception.
A physics student moves into a particularly seedy boarding house. He is surprised to find that the peculiar geometry of his room echoes his work into the possible bridging of dimensions. Fairly soon, he is having dreams of witches and talking rodents and they have plans involving the sacrifice of the child next door.
Fans of Lovecraft will be on happily familiar territory whilst the faithless may feel this is a garden path we have been led down in one too many crappy movies already. This film isn’t crap. It has some genuine scary moments, good acting and a deep sense of impending doom. It is a pity we have been here – or somewhere like here - before.
INCIDENT ON AND OFF A MOUNTAIN ROAD
Don Coscarelli’s claims to fame include the “Phantasm” series of films and “Bubba Ho-Tep”. Is he a master of horror? His films seem to come from somewhere else altogether. In a Kung Fu movie he’d be one of those weird Masters who lives alone up in the mountains and says deep and profound weird shit. This episode is perhaps the closest he has come to a straight horror film.
Based on a story by the amazing Joe R Lansdale, “Incident” tells the story of a defenceless young woman stalked by a deformed serial killer. Did I say helpless? When she starts fashioning booby traps, you know this is turning down a less travelled path. And just as well too. Despite the fact that the film looked stylishly shot, I was beginning to stifle a yawn or two as I smelt cliché in the air. Ultimately, this film turned out to be another surprise from Coscarelli. I was going to say delightful surprise but this film is a little too gory to be delightful.
CHOCOLATE
Director Mick Garris has made a few Stephen King adaptations – mostly for television. The fact that he directed the remake of “The Shining” has never really enamoured him film critics. I mean to say, it would be a bit like me picking up a copy of the Bible and saying I could do a better job than God did.
Of course, he is the dude who got this series up and running. I suppose – at a stretch – that might qualify him to be a teaboy of terror.
Having said that, “Chocolate” is an amazing psychological horror story. It is dark in ways that none of his previous work has hinted at. The fact that this is based on a story he wrote would seem to suggest he should avoid adaptations at all cost. This guy could turn out to be quite a find.
A lonely food technician is surprised to find he is experiencing the sensation of someone else eating chocolate. Soon, he is having flashes where he seeing through the eyes of someone else; a beautiful woman. Furthermore, he starts feeling what she feels. When she kills her unfaithful lover, he decides he must find her.
DEER WOMAN
John Landis may have made the highly successful “An American Werewolf in London” and the rather less successful “Innocent Blood” but, beyond that, his horror resume thins out dramatically. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video. Do me a favour, John.
“Deer Woman” plays straight to Landis’ strength and plays them well. Just as with “Werewolf” this is a scary movie with laughs as opposed to a comedy with a half hearted stab at chills. There is a fantastic sequence where a detective tries to piece together a series of ridiculous clues into a feasible crime scenario. His increasingly absurd solutions are – by themselves – justification for this series.
What are the clues? A man is seen with a woman. He is later found ground into the cabin of his truck from the groin up. There are hoof prints. Okay, you’ve seen the title of the film so you know where this is heading. Leading man, Brian Benben is fantastic. The script, by Landis’ son Max, is a treat. The direction is superb. A great way to spend a hour of your time and probably the first film in this series that will stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
A good horror film will always stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
SICK GIRL
But here is the real treat of the series, the big surprise. Who the hell is Lucky McKee? He directed a film called “May”. You’d think that would merely make him an apprentice of horror rather than a master but he’s shown the old farts a thing or two.
It’s a kind of lesbian romantic comedy with a large bug as guest star. I don’t want to tell you anything else about it because it is just so fucking brilliant. You should see it yourself. It is, by far, the best film in this six pack.
MASTERS OF HORROR VOLUME 1
So what is the verdict? If it is one eighth as good as Volume 1, I can’t wait for volume 2.
CIGARETTE BURNS
Well, if anyone here rates a Master of Horror badge, John Carpenter does. He directed “Halloween”, “The Fog”, “Prince of Darkness”, “The Thing” and “Vampires”. He knows what scares you and he does a pretty good job here. Once upon a time, a movie was made called “Le Fin Absolue Du Monde”. It drove the audience of its only showing into a kill crazed frenzy.
Programmer Kirby Sweetman is given the job of tracking down the only remaining print of the film by a creepy private collector (played by the delightfully creepy Udo Kier). As Sweetman gets closer to the film, he begins to hallucinate but these brutal hallucinations may be filtering into reality.
It is fairly familiar ground for Carpenter, being reminiscent of “In the Mouth of Madness” and David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome”. That’s a film that a lot of people liked but, for me, it was spoiled by Sam Neill who seemed determined to shove his tongue into his cheek and wander through the movie with a sign around his neck saying “I’m slumming it”.
It is nice to see a similar theme taken seriously by the cast. Carpenter has picked up the gauntlet and made his first straight scary film in a while and it is a very welcome return. Look, “Vampires” had its scares but it was really just ninety minutes of James Wood kicking serious butt and that was fantastic but it wasn’t a horror film. These days, you can’t make a real horror film with James Wood in it because he is scarier than any monster could ever hope to be. Even in “Videodrome” he looked like he was having a good old time pulling guns out of the hole in his belly.
If all the episodes in the series are half as good as “Cigarette Burns”, I think we’re looking at a classic series in the making.
DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE
Director Stuart Gordon is probably most famous for the blackly comic Re-Animator. He has also made the far darker but far less interesting “Castle Freak” and “Dagon”. If one is to be totally honest, he is not so much a master of horror as a studied professor. Throughout his career, he has made it a central mission of bringing the work of H P Lovecraft to the screen and this episode is no exception.
A physics student moves into a particularly seedy boarding house. He is surprised to find that the peculiar geometry of his room echoes his work into the possible bridging of dimensions. Fairly soon, he is having dreams of witches and talking rodents and they have plans involving the sacrifice of the child next door.
Fans of Lovecraft will be on happily familiar territory whilst the faithless may feel this is a garden path we have been led down in one too many crappy movies already. This film isn’t crap. It has some genuine scary moments, good acting and a deep sense of impending doom. It is a pity we have been here – or somewhere like here - before.
INCIDENT ON AND OFF A MOUNTAIN ROAD
Don Coscarelli’s claims to fame include the “Phantasm” series of films and “Bubba Ho-Tep”. Is he a master of horror? His films seem to come from somewhere else altogether. In a Kung Fu movie he’d be one of those weird Masters who lives alone up in the mountains and says deep and profound weird shit. This episode is perhaps the closest he has come to a straight horror film.
Based on a story by the amazing Joe R Lansdale, “Incident” tells the story of a defenceless young woman stalked by a deformed serial killer. Did I say helpless? When she starts fashioning booby traps, you know this is turning down a less travelled path. And just as well too. Despite the fact that the film looked stylishly shot, I was beginning to stifle a yawn or two as I smelt cliché in the air. Ultimately, this film turned out to be another surprise from Coscarelli. I was going to say delightful surprise but this film is a little too gory to be delightful.
CHOCOLATE
Director Mick Garris has made a few Stephen King adaptations – mostly for television. The fact that he directed the remake of “The Shining” has never really enamoured him film critics. I mean to say, it would be a bit like me picking up a copy of the Bible and saying I could do a better job than God did.
Of course, he is the dude who got this series up and running. I suppose – at a stretch – that might qualify him to be a teaboy of terror.
Having said that, “Chocolate” is an amazing psychological horror story. It is dark in ways that none of his previous work has hinted at. The fact that this is based on a story he wrote would seem to suggest he should avoid adaptations at all cost. This guy could turn out to be quite a find.
A lonely food technician is surprised to find he is experiencing the sensation of someone else eating chocolate. Soon, he is having flashes where he seeing through the eyes of someone else; a beautiful woman. Furthermore, he starts feeling what she feels. When she kills her unfaithful lover, he decides he must find her.
DEER WOMAN
John Landis may have made the highly successful “An American Werewolf in London” and the rather less successful “Innocent Blood” but, beyond that, his horror resume thins out dramatically. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video. Do me a favour, John.
“Deer Woman” plays straight to Landis’ strength and plays them well. Just as with “Werewolf” this is a scary movie with laughs as opposed to a comedy with a half hearted stab at chills. There is a fantastic sequence where a detective tries to piece together a series of ridiculous clues into a feasible crime scenario. His increasingly absurd solutions are – by themselves – justification for this series.
What are the clues? A man is seen with a woman. He is later found ground into the cabin of his truck from the groin up. There are hoof prints. Okay, you’ve seen the title of the film so you know where this is heading. Leading man, Brian Benben is fantastic. The script, by Landis’ son Max, is a treat. The direction is superb. A great way to spend a hour of your time and probably the first film in this series that will stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
A good horror film will always stand up to heavy repeated viewing.
SICK GIRL
But here is the real treat of the series, the big surprise. Who the hell is Lucky McKee? He directed a film called “May”. You’d think that would merely make him an apprentice of horror rather than a master but he’s shown the old farts a thing or two.
It’s a kind of lesbian romantic comedy with a large bug as guest star. I don’t want to tell you anything else about it because it is just so fucking brilliant. You should see it yourself. It is, by far, the best film in this six pack.
MASTERS OF HORROR VOLUME 1
So what is the verdict? If it is one eighth as good as Volume 1, I can’t wait for volume 2.
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Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
This is a great series and Im a big fan of all the Directors.
Im a massive fan of Lucky McKee's May.
Its in my top 5 horrors of the last 10 years. I did a blog on it a while ago you can read it . here.
Stuart Gordon's Willard remake is also an under seen chiller that you wont shake off.
Comment by Bob Short
Now this is going to sound a little weird. You work at JB Hi Fi, right? The one in town. It's either that or I'm having similar conversations with people.
We had the discussion about the cat scene to Michael Jacksons original score? It arose because I was looking for a copy of Gordon's "Dolls".
My only confusion now is thinking the Willard remake was made by the Morgan/Wong team which may have explained my initial confusion when you started talking about Willard.
Well, I hope that was you in the shop because it is good to know there is a shop where someone actually loves what they sell.
And yes, I have already read your review of May and it encouraged me to hunt the film down (yes it is cool). When it came out, I had just said "this looks like shit" and ignored it. Thank you for pointing out the errors of my ways!