Kelly Wand"Sex and the City" Review
June 3rd 2008 23:36
Ha ha, you clicked. Okay, confessional alert: since I'm straight and girlfriendless, I missed out on this cosmo-drenched extravapalooza of shoe purchasings. I heard someone gets married in it, and that someone takes a poo, so I can see why gaggles of female viewers would swarm over it like those fire ants from that other big summer blockbuster (which in all fairness was sort of the guys' "Sex and the City", in many ways). Plus, I promised myself over and over that I would honorably save my hard-fought HBO-series-turned-feature-film ticket money for next summer's Ang Lee's "Dream On." Or bust!
Still, in the interest of providing buck per bang, here's a review of a movie I did watch this week-end that was much more contemporary and featured a similarly naughty streak and high-voltage sparks of bone-crunching romance: "Weekend at Bernie's."
"Weekend at Bernie's" is a madslash slapdap farce that's even more guignol than it is grand, which means that there's a lot of groin kicks by an actor pretending to be dead for over an hour. The dead guy's name is Bernie. He's the boss of these two dumb guys, Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy. Since Silverman's handsomer than McCarthy, he gets a romantic subplot with Catherine Mary Stewart and acts boring while McCarthy trips over everything and Kramers things up. "Dumb and Dumber" is basically a remake of this movie, only set on an interstate instead of a beach-house and minus Bernie and which doesn't necessarily take place on the weekend.
The two dumb guys work for Bernie. When they find out someone's embezzling from the company, they report it to him. Bernie assures them they'll both get promotions for their honesty and vigilance. Unfortunately, the guys are dumb, though, since Bernie's the one who's embezzling and he then hires some hitmen to kill the dumb guys, since a double homicide is easier to cover up than embezzlement. But then Bernie's killed and the two guys are the only people in the whole movie who ever notice, which makes them not dumb apparently, it makes everyone else in the movie dumb, including the cops, the Mafia, some paramedics, and a girl who has comically passionate necrophilia with Bernie's corpse (tastefully offscreen). Surprisingly, Bernie's corpse never farts, although apparently corpses really do this and this is certainly the movie in which it should.
I don't want to spoil the ending, but suffice to say that Bernie doesn't come back to life until the sequel. The HBO series starts this fall.
Still, in the interest of providing buck per bang, here's a review of a movie I did watch this week-end that was much more contemporary and featured a similarly naughty streak and high-voltage sparks of bone-crunching romance: "Weekend at Bernie's."
"Weekend at Bernie's" is a madslash slapdap farce that's even more guignol than it is grand, which means that there's a lot of groin kicks by an actor pretending to be dead for over an hour. The dead guy's name is Bernie. He's the boss of these two dumb guys, Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy. Since Silverman's handsomer than McCarthy, he gets a romantic subplot with Catherine Mary Stewart and acts boring while McCarthy trips over everything and Kramers things up. "Dumb and Dumber" is basically a remake of this movie, only set on an interstate instead of a beach-house and minus Bernie and which doesn't necessarily take place on the weekend.
The two dumb guys work for Bernie. When they find out someone's embezzling from the company, they report it to him. Bernie assures them they'll both get promotions for their honesty and vigilance. Unfortunately, the guys are dumb, though, since Bernie's the one who's embezzling and he then hires some hitmen to kill the dumb guys, since a double homicide is easier to cover up than embezzlement. But then Bernie's killed and the two guys are the only people in the whole movie who ever notice, which makes them not dumb apparently, it makes everyone else in the movie dumb, including the cops, the Mafia, some paramedics, and a girl who has comically passionate necrophilia with Bernie's corpse (tastefully offscreen). Surprisingly, Bernie's corpse never farts, although apparently corpses really do this and this is certainly the movie in which it should.
I don't want to spoil the ending, but suffice to say that Bernie doesn't come back to life until the sequel. The HBO series starts this fall.
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Comment by chongzor